Evaluative Conclusion

Cougar pride. All day every day!

I wrote this blog to document my first semester at BYU and to reflect on my growth. I believe that attending BYU has helped me to become not only a hard-working student with real-world critical thinking skills, but also a better individual who is more acquainted with the Spirit. My intended audience is my Writing 150 classmates and instructor, as well as anyone who is interested in seeing life through the eyes of a freshman girl adjusting to independent life in a new place with a different culture. My screen name is "808cougarette" because "808" is the area code of Hawaii, my home state, and "cougarette" refers to my identity as a female student at BYU. My blog is designed with a header that is a picture of Mount Timpanogos fused with Diamond Head, a volcanic crater in Honolulu. These two mountains are prominent features in Utah and Hawaii, respectively, and they are some of the prettiest mountains I have ever seen. I love hiking Diamond Head and I can't wait to hike Timp when the weather gets warmer.

Additionally, these mountains give me a sense of direction. In Honolulu, the cardinal points north, south, west, and east are referred to as "mauka" or mountain, "makai" or ocean, "Ewa" (a city on the West-side of the island), and "Diamond Head," respectively. Thus I defined my location relative to my physical surroundings, especially Diamond Head, which I could see from my living room window. Moreover, I had never used "north," "south," "west," or "east" before in my life. None of that matters when you live on an island because there's ocean in every direction. When I came to Provo, however, knowing my directions became very important in this large campus and new town. I felt lost and helpless because I didn't know my directions at all--I couldn't respond when nice people around campus directed me to walk North toward my dorm or South toward the Testing Center. Nonetheless, that all changed when someone told me that the Wasatch Mountain Range was east and that Timp was the mountain with the snow on it. Since then, I've felt much more secure about my location. Similarly, as I've studied here at the Y, I've felt more confident about my direction as a college student and as one of God's children. Coming to BYU has enabled me to grow both intellectually and spiritually and has helped me to mature into a well-rounded individual. This blog has served as a medium for me to reflect on my experiences here and appreciate how much things have changed.

photo: daringyoungmom.blogspot.com
photo of Mt. Timpanogos: summitpost.org
photo of Diamond Head: lexington.k12.il.us

Home

Ala Moana Beach Park. A non-tourist beach located .5 miles from my house.

Shimazu Shave Ice, aka the Best on the Island.
Especially Melon Bar Creme/Lilikoi/Lychee flavored. YUM!

I'm excited to go home for Christmas break! Today I secured a ride to the airport and printed off my ticket, which costed a whopping $1700. Ridiculous right? I guess that's the price for paradise.

Here are some reasons why I am looking forward to going back to Hawaii:
(1) I can see my family. My dad is my best friend and I miss him every time I watch a football game or read a news article that he would find interesting. Wow I just got teary writing that so I'll stop talking about him. I also love my little sister. We have a five year age gap but we are still very close and I admire her so much. I can't wait to watch her play soccer. She is on the 7th grade soccer team and she is a starting left fullback, which means that she is quick enough to handle the offense's best forward and her left foot is strong even though she is right-footed. She is a much better soccer player than I was and I can't wait to cheer her on. I'm also excited to see my mom. We haven't always gotten along because our personalities are polar opposites, but time away from her has made me appreciate our relationship much more. She is even taking two weeks off of work to hang out with me and drive me around wherever I want to go.

(2) The sun. Provo is freezing cold--the low for tonight (12/6) is 7 degrees. That is a single digit. This is easily the coldest I have ever been in my life and I dread walking outside. I've actually planned my route to maximize  walking indoors and minimize going outside, which is really hard for me because (1) I love the outdoors and I hate staying inside, (2) I'm a bit of a germaphobe, so I cringe every time I have to touch a door handle to open a building door, and (3) I have been craving shave ice for weeks but I don't want to eat ice when there is already ice on the ground. That would give me frostbite.

(3) The beach. I love the beach so much and I miss it almost as much as I miss my family. I'm planning to wear my bathing suit under my clothes on the plane so that when my dad picks me up from the airport at 4pm Hawaii time he can drive me straight to Ala Moana Beach Park, my favorite beach in the world.

(4) My friends. I'm excited to hear about all of their college shenanigans and see some familiar faces. High school friends are great because you can laugh at old stories and feel like they really know you, as opposed to college friends who haven't known you as long.

(5) Living in a house with my own room. Living in the dorms feels like staying in a crappy hotel. It can be really fun hanging out with your hallmmates but it sucks to lie awake in bed while your neighbors are screaming at 3am, or walk in to your room hoping to sleep/change clothes/whatever only to have your roommate's guests inside.

I have always appreciated living in Hawaii, but I've never wanted to go back so much in my life. College is fun, but I'm ready to chill at home!

photo 1: hawaiilife.com
photo 2: ryantakumablog.com

BYU Standards

BYU campus. Ain't she a beauty.

I recently had a long conversation with one of my best friends from high school who is attending University of Washington. We talked about how college was going and complained about how pale we were getting on the mainland. I told her I was excited to go home and get my tan back and she agreed. I sensed that she was more homesick than I was, though, and I wondered why being away from home was affecting her more strongly than it was affecting me. After all, she is a good-looking, intelligent, well-adjusted teenager with an attractive personality and lots of friends. So it wasn't her. It was probably the gloomy Seattle skies. But what was is it about Provo that helps me to feel a sense of belonging?

I think I am comfortable in Provo because of BYU's high quality students and high standards for behavior. BYU students are not only smart, but also friendly and well-rounded. For example, I am very impressed to see how many of my neighbors go to the gym a few times a week like I do. I'm also surprised when people don't hold the door open for me--not because I feel like people should be holding the door open for me, but because I'm used to it now. The majority of people are just nice. Whenever I go off campus I'm shocked to see "normal" people, like boys with facial hair and girls with multiple piercings. Going home to Hawaii will be a shock. Not only will it feel hot and humid, but I'll be surrounded by ordinary citizens and sunburned tourists. I'll see the beach and green mountains and rainbows and sunsets. But I'll also hear swearing and partying across the street of my apartment and smell marijuana in the parking lot.

It was difficult to explain BYU's standards to my friend in a way that would make sense to her. For example, I told her about the honor code and said that it was "like an academic honesty thing, and a no drinking thing, and a no sex thing." I'm sure that Karl Maeser is spinning in his grave. But I appreciate the honor code because I don't have to worry about living a different lifestyle than my friends like I did in high school, especially when everyone started drinking and smoking senior year. I don't have to worry about what my friend worries about, like pictures from last night's party ending up on Facebook. So as much as I miss home and feel ready for winter break, I might even miss BYU a little bit.

photo: et.byu.edu

Fast Sunday at the Cannon Center

No, this is not Cannon Center food.
This is real food.

On Fast Sundays the Cannon Center is only open from 3-6pm. It's kind of a miracle that the cafeteria is even open at all, since no one works on Sundays and Provo is a ghost town. I mean, our hall bathroom smells like old garbage and rotten food, and there's no toilet paper left. But luckily we're able to eat.

The First Presidency Christmas Devotional made matters worse because the Cannon closed half an hour early in an attempt to get all the Helaman freshmen to watch the broadcast. So really the cafeteria was open for 2 1/2 hours. That meant hundreds of hungry kids piling in to stuff their faces in a limited amount of time.

I got to the Cannon at 3:30 and I waited in a long line. When I got in I was disappointed to see that the food wasn't very appetizing. Usually fast Sunday food is especially good, but all I ate was chicken stuffed with carrots (gross) and salad. The ice cream was excellent though. I had "Graham Canyon" and "Marionberry." Cute names right? Hah. I ended staying and talking (and procrastinating) until closing time. Later that night we ate grilled PB&J sandwiches and had a pow wow during visiting hours.

I like the Cannon Center. It's decent cafeteria food. But I miss my mom's cooking so much. I can't wait to go home and eat real food!

photo: cookingrecipesguide.org

BYU vs Hawaii Football

One for the record books.

On Saturday the BYU Football team played the University of Hawaii Warriors. This presented me with a dilemma. I love Hawaii and I support Warrior athletics. But now I'm a Cougar (the animal, not the older woman who preys on younger men). So what do I do?

First it's important to understand some of the drama here. UH had a 6-6 record and needed a win to play in a bowl game, probably the Sheraton Hawaii bowl. This would bring in money to the town and help our economy. On the other hand, BYU is already set to play in the Armed Forces Bowl. Therefore, it makes sense for BYU to be nice and let UH win this game. But that's not going to happen.

Some more drama: UH is playing its third string quarterback and BYU's Riley Nelson is cleared to play for the first time after his injury. UH is also accused of point-shaving this season, but we all know it's just a disgruntled gambler trying to stir up trouble. BYU and UH have a bitter rivalry for three reasons: (1) UH, like every other school, hates BYU because it's BYU, (2) BYU and UH used to be rivals in the same conference, the WAC, and (3) UH hates BYU for stealing many of Hawaii's potential recruits, as many Polynesians in Hawaii are Mormon and would attend UH if it weren't for BYU recruiting them (as BYU is a better football program and is affiliated with the LDS Church). This game is also significant because BYU and UH have agreed to play each other for at least the next eight more years. While this is a huge game for BYU players hoping to enjoy some time in paradise before returning to the cold, it's an even bigger game for UH fans who are dying to beat BYU.

My dad, a BYU alum, decided to support BYU. Even though he works at UH, he said that he feels a bond with BYU because they are LDS, have returned missionaries on the team, and because a few years ago Bronco Mendenhall was in Hawaii for a recruiting trip and gave a fireside at my church building, after which he signed autographs and told me that I had a nice smile. My dad told me to just jump on the bandwagon of the winning team.

BYU trailed at halftime but ended up winning 41-20. It was a fantastic game and Riley had a couple of amazing plays. I'm happy that BYU won and I really wish I could have been at the game with my friends. The football team also gave a youth fireside that I heard was great. Go cougars!

12/6 update: Shocking fallout from the BYU/UH game: UH coach Greg McMackin accepted a $600,000 buyout from the school and retired early. His contract was set to expire next year. I guess Hawaii is no longer "backin' McMackin."

photo: byucougars.com

Asians in the Library

Me and my friends in high school. We're all Asian. I am tall.

On Thursday I was walking my friend to the library and I asked her where she usually studied. She said, "I study in the Asian Collection." We went up there and I saw that it literally was an Asian collection. It was like I was at UCLA or back at my high school in Hawaii. I wondered why all of these Asian people studied at the Asian Collection section of the library. Was it just a funny joke? Or did they crave the company of fellow Orientals?

I am half-Chinese and half-Caucasian. I study in the Social Science section of the library because it is quiet and I have access to computers. I am also a Social Science major, so I feel like that is my designated area.

I come from a high school that was probably 80% Asian, 15% Polynesian, and 5% Caucasian. My high school's reputation was "nerdy Asians." (Our rival high schools were Punahou, or "rich haoles [white people]," and Kamehameha, or "good-looking Hawaiians"). Coming to BYU was a huge culture shock for me because of the abundance of Caucasians. I had never been a "minority" in my life and I still feel very uncomfortable with the word because where I come from multicultural kids like me are everywhere.

I've struggled with my new minority status until very recently. Previously a lot of my classmates said what I considered to be insensitive things about my heritage. The most common thing I get is people mistaking me for being Filipino or Hawaiian. When they find out that I'm Chinese, they say things like "Oh, but they [Asian or Polynesian races] are all the same anyway, so why make the distinction?" I'm offended because I feel like everyone's heritage matters. Even when Caucasian people say, "I'm just white," I disagree and ask them to be more specific. I've learned some cool things about people this way. For example, my home teacher's ancestor was William Bradford, the first governor of Plymouth Colony.

Now I have changed my attitude. Whenever people say something offensive I don't take it to seriously. Mostly I try to make a joke out of it. I'll say something stupid, like, "It's cause I'm brown?" [This is actually really enjoyable because I could never get away with saying that I was brown back home. People would ask what a haole girl like me was talking about]. I think that this is a healthier way to respond. I now understand that not everyone was raised in Hawaii, race conscious place where mistaking a Tongan for a Samoan could result in a beating and marrying a Japanese person as a Korean could get you disowned from the family.

A few weeks ago, studying in the Asian Collection would have been comfortable. It would have felt like home. Nonetheless, I have a new perspective now. Just yesterday this Mexican boy thought I was saying something mean about him being from Mexico when I was really just clarifying that he lived in Mexico and wasn't just ethnically Mexican. I said to him, "Are you kidding me? I wouldn't make fun of you. Us minorities have to unite!" He then gave me a high five. I'm doing well so far.

My Look-Alike

BYU Men's Chorus

This weekend I attended the "Celebration of Christmas" at the Harris Fine Arts Center. BYU's Men's and Women's Choruses, the Concert Choir and the Philharmonic Orchestra performed fifteen traditional Christmas songs and carols. Even though I'm not usually a concert person, I actually had a fun time. The groups had a great performance and I enjoyed seeing some of my friends and classmates shine.

After the concert I went to congratulate my friends. A boy in Men's Chorus came up to me and said, "You changed fast." I was confused for a second but realized that he thought I had performed in the concert. I replied, "I'm not in Women's Chorus..." and he said, "Are you sure?" I laughed and said that I was sure. Then I asked him, "Maybe you're mistaking me for Michelle* (name has been change)?" He said, "Hmm, I guess I am."

Backstory: This is about the fourth time that someone I had just met at BYU has said that I looked just like a girl named Michelle. I actually met her while we were both volunteering at the MTC. She told me that the same thing has happened to her too. We're both tan with dark hair and big front teeth. Our names also both start with the letter M. But I'm a lot taller than her and her eyes are a lot bigger than mine. We don't look that alike.

Back to current story: So I say goodbye to the boy and I go off to find more friends. That's when I see Michelle wearing a Women's Chorus outfit. I congratulate her and tell her about the boy I just met. Then I said, "Will you come with me?" She agrees and we walk back to where the boy is standing. Then I ask him, "Is this who you were confusing me with?" Michelle and I start cracking up and the boy says, "Must be." I then introduce them and Michelle goes back. The boy had a good sense of humor and he took it well.

This was a funny experience that revealed how some BYU students can't tell brown people apart. I suppose that's okay because I can't tell a lot of white people apart either. Hah.

photo: news.byu.edu